Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do

(1-319): View more from Iowa

put a dollar in it?

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(512): View more from Texas

You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

Fav 16 3999 1284
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(651): View more from Minnesota

So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

Fav 33 7147 1123
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(433): View more from

There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables

Fav 63 1700 4307
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.

Fav 22 5544 1439
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?

Fav 8 2286 1270
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(972): View more from Texas

I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.

Fav 3 2310 918
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(602): View more from Arizona

$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place

Fav 1 776 483
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(331): View more from Illinois

She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"

Fav 4 146 216
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