suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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