Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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