Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize