Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize