Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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