We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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