I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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