I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
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I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize