Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
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I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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