So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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