Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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