omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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