Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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