You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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