I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize