can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
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driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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