I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My breasts were aching with rage.
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He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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