we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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