Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
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I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I came so hard my ears popped.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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