Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize