how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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