If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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