that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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