East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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