We won't sleep together?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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