Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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