Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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