I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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