Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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