TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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