And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
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I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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