break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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