I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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