ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize