I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize