Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize