i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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