this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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