You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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