I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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