Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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