i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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