so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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