Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize