the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
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Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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