Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
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I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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