do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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