i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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