I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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