my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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